Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
