Grow some girl-balls and come out already
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
