Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
