If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
