like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
