why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
