First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
