We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
