sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We won't sleep together?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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