it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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