I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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