yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
