Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
