i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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