apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
