i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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