Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
