I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
