put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
