I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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