If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
