my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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