I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
