i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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