I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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