I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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