If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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