Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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