Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
