i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
They have beer where we have blood.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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