She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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