I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
