..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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