I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I know her cup size but not her name....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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