WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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