I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
