Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
