you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
