Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
