He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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