I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
