Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
