if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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