K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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