hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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