your room smells of hookers.
And success
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
