Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
