There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
