You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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