okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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