I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
