pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
