i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
