We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
