Little spoons don't ask big questions
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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