YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
