I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
