i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
