The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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